The Dark Night of the Soul

 "He asked them, ‘What are you discussing so intently as you walk along?’ They stopped short, sadness written across their faces.” Luke 24:17 (NLT)

In today's scripture, two friends are walking together. Jesus, the one they loved, has died. Worse, yet, the women said they had found the tomb empty. Jesus wasn't there. You can just imagine their sadness and confusion. Jesus was no where to be found. 

That's the way I've felt this week. I've fasted and prayed, failed and got back up, reminded myself that no matter how it looks or how it feels, Jesus is with me always. His Holy Spirit lives within me. He promised He would never leave me or forsake me...and yet, I've felt sad and confused because the one I walk with daily, the one who regularly speaks to my heart has been silent.

They call this the dark night of the soul - a depression that is linked to a crisis of faith, a crisis that comes when one senses the absence of God or gives rise to a feeling of abandonment by Him.

Before you jump in to tell me why it's so wrong to feel abandoned by God, let me say, I've been preaching all those things to myself all week. I know that the way I feel is not reality. I also know that we are not to live by our feelings and I know that this feeling will not last, but while in it, I'm miserable.

I miss that closeness with my Lord, those intimate moments when He whispers in my ear or let's me catch a glimpse of Him in things/people around me.

And in case you think it might be sin that's standing between us or that I have not been seeking Him, I've been spending more time in soul-searching repentance and in His word than usual.

So, why do I tell you all this? Because I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not the only believer that goes through this. In fact, I'm not at all sure that God doesn't orchestrate these dry spells in our relationship so that I learn to walk by faith, not by sight.

While I'm okay with that, because I want to be strong in my faith, I sure don't enjoy the process!

So, what do we do when we're experiencing a dark night of the soul? First of all, don't go buy a box of chocolate eclairs and eat them all at one sitting. (I may or may not have done this yesterday.) In fact, don't do anything to try to fill up that emptiness, for nothing but Jesus will satisfy. Just keep doing what you know is right. Pray, seek Him, read His word, pray some more. Praise Him, recall all the ways in which He blesses your life and thank Him for it. 

In other words, keep walking with Jesus, even though you can see, hear or feel Him at the moment, He is there!

Note: as it turns out, our two friends from the scripture above were not alone. Jesus was with them all the time, for in verses 15 & 16, we read...

"As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him." Luke 24:15-16 (NLT)

How about you? Do you go through times like this? What helps you get through it?


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Let God Turn Your Torment into a Mentor

Have you ever had a period of time when God felt so close you could almost reach out and touch Him? When reading His word came alive and spoke right to your needs? When blessing after blessing seemed to be dropping into your lap and then all of a sudden...nothing.

You can't feel him, reading the word is boring, your worship is flat and God seems a million miles away. It feels like you've been abandoned, deserted, lonely and deflated. As a believer, you understand and fully believe that those things are not true. God promised never to leave you. His Holy Spirit lives right inside you. His word is still true and just as powerful as it was yesterday. But today it seems He's no where to be found.

For the past 10 days I have been spending lots of extra time with God in the word, in worship and in prayer. It's been great and I've felt very close to the Lord, but this morning I woke up and He was gone. Not really, of course, but that's how it felt.

Suddenly, I felt like a failure. I kept trying to connect with Him, but He didn't answer my call. Was his ringer turned off? Was he hitting the "reject the call" button? Had I been blocked? I don't know if anyone else ever goes through days like this, but it's one of the hardest things ever for me.

This evening I was reading in 2 Corinthians, chapter 12. Paul starts out describing an amazing time he experienced with God, but immediately afterward he says...

"...in order to keep me from becoming conceited, 

I was given a thorn in my flesh,

a messenger of Satan, to torment me." 

(verse 7)

I don't like this verse. It's seriously messed up! Just when a believer is on a spiritual high, God allows a messenger of Satan to torment him. That don't seem right.

I've always heard that this thorn in Paul's flesh was a physical ailment of some kind. The bible doesn't specify exactly what it was, but this evening something occurred to me. It was a "messenger" of Satan. Messengers bring messages, don't they? And of course, a messenger of Satan would bring the kind of message that would torment a believer. Something like, "God has left you. God isn't speaking to you today. God is disappointed in you. Your prayers aren't getting through. You failed Him."

Those whispered lies and the feelings that accompany them are devastating to someone whose greatest desire is a close connection with God.

But, what if that messenger isn't such a bad thing? What if he's sent so that we might learn something. What if the torment was turned around, like switching the syllables in the word and...

the TORMENT - became a MENTOR

What if God is using it to strengthen our faith?

So, tomorrow morning when I get up, I'll pick up my Bible as usual. I'll pray. I'll worship and I'll expect God to show up. I'm sure He will, but if I can't sense His presence, I'll consider it a learning experience. I'll reject the lies of the messenger. I'll state truth, that God is right there with me, that He loves me beyond measure and I'll praise God for continuing to work me to make me stronger and more like Jesus, even if that means I go through a spiritual dry spell.

If you read the Psalms, you'll soon discover that David went through many days like this. Paul went through them, too. And Peter as well. It's a normal part of being a Christian. Our part is to stand strong in the truth and trust that before long, our feelings will follow.

If you would like more information about what to do when you're going through a dry spell or what they call "the dark night of the soul," I recommend this short (9 minutes, 30 seconds) message by Pastor John Piper called "What to Do When God Feels Distant."

Or this really short video from Francis Chan - "Do You Feel Distant from God?"

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Does God Miss You?

Most of us are familiar with Revelation 3:20, where Jesus said...

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person and they with me." 

It's most often quoted in reference to an unbeliever opening the door to let Christ into their life, but what if that's not what Jesus was talking about?

If we read the verse in context, it's being written to a group of believers who have allowed their relationship with the Lord to become lukewarm. I imagine that involves seldom taking time to spend with Him in prayer and worship or seldom consulting Him for help or direction for their day.

Perhaps what Jesus is really saying is, "Hey, it's been a while and I miss you. Open the door and I'll come in and we can spend a little time together, maybe share a meal. You can tell me what's on your mind and heart and I can tell you what's on mine. I'd like to help you with anything that's bothering you if you will just open the door. Whadda ya say? Can we talk?"

How long has it been since you sat with the Lord and just had a good, long chat?

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Don't Take the Bait

"Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly." 2 Timothy 1:16

Several times in the past week or so, I've had people post comments to me online that seem to be aimed at starting a conflict. 

My first impulse was to fire off a response that would have only added fuel to the flame. Fortunately, the Lord (and a couple of friends) gave me the good advice to not respond. I didn't, but I have to admit, to a lot of soul searching and  mental sparing with the people who made the comments.

I thought of brilliantly scathing remarks I could have made, convincing arguments to refute their claims, ways that they had acted inappropriately, but each time, the Lord reminded me that those responses would just make things worse.

The soul-searching was the worst and the best thing that came out of all this, because it gave me time to reflect, time to examine my own behavior in the past, time to repent and ask God to change those things in me that need to change. To make me a better person and a better reflection of Him.

This morning in my devotional time, I read 2 Timothy 2:16 that tells us to avoid godless chatter and those who indulge in it. I thought about those comments that tempted me to engage in what would have been a futile argument - godless chatter.

Then I read a little further...

"Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." 2 Timothy 2:23-24 

At that point, I felt justified in ignoring the comments...until I read that last little bit of verse 24..."be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful."  Is ignoring kind? Did I miss an opportunity to teach because I was resentful?

I read on...

"Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." 2 Timothy 25-26

"...trap of the devil?"

And then it hit me. The devil was up to his old tricks. New scheme. Same goal - to get me riled up, tempt me to respond in self-defense and anger, stir up dissension with someone I care for, get me to act in a way that's unbecoming for a child of God.

How grateful I am for good friends who give good advice and for the Holy Spirit pulling me back from an immediate and improper response, because I now recognize those comments as bait - not from the person who made them - but from the devil, who loves to play one believer against the other so that it will destroy unity in the family of God.

Friends, let's remember this...

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." James 1:19-20

...and don't take the bait of Satan!

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