Broken-Hearted Joy

"The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Yesterday was hard. 
Yesterday was sadness, tears and loneliness.
Change and loss are hard.
Change is thrust upon us suddenly.
We usually don't see it coming and we are seldom prepared.

Today...
Today is different.
Today is the realization that yesterday is a closing door, but today is a new beginning.

I am not alone.
God is with me, leading me into a different phase of my journey.

This is a hard thing, but it is a good thing, for God makes all things work together for my good.
People may make decisions that change the course of my days, but God determines the course of life.

He removes a spirit of heaviness and replaces it with lightness, peace and joy.

Today is different.
I'm looking forward, joyfully expectant for where He is taking me.
For how He will fill that empty space in my heart with Himself.

Closing the door on yesterday.
Looking forward to tomorrow.
Enjoying today!


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I have a Hangover!

No, I didn't go out drinking. 

Yesterday I decided to take a day and just be lazy. No, that's not quite right. I didn't decide to be lazy, it just happened because I didn't decide to do anything else.

It all began quite normally. I got up, made my bed and a cup of coffee, let the dogs out and then settled into my comfy chair to spend some time with Jesus, only He didn't show up. I felt slighted. Now, before you correct me, I already know that He is always with me, but this morning it didn't feel that way...and yes, I know that we are not supposed to live by our feelings. Knowing that didn't help, though. I missed that morning connection, which usually gets my day off to a wonderful start. I kept trying to make it happen, but it wasn't working.

I thought I might sit down and write for a bit, but that wasn't happening either. The words just wouldn't come. I wasn't inspired. Probably Jesus' fault for not showing up. (Just kidding.)

It only got worse from there. Went to get a bite to eat. Picked a lousy place and the food was yuck. 

Stopped by the grocery store, intending to just pick up something for dinner. Ended up spending way more than I intended. I have no idea how that box of mini cream puffs ended up in my cart and a an hour later, after unpacking my groceries at home, how they ended up in my stomach. (Yes, the whole box.)

My eating has been out of control for the past couple of weeks. I've been working out at the gym 3-4 times a week for almost 2 years. Spent the first 6 months on the Daniel Plan diet, the next year on a Vegetarian Diet and the last 6 months on the Keto Diet. I only lose about 10 pounds in all that time. Now, I know that any weight loss is good, but I say only 10 pounds because in that last 6 month period, my husband joined me on the Keto Diet and lost about 30 pounds in that time. I'm very happy for him, but frustrated as all get out with my lack of result. Maybe that's what's driving me to eat all the things I denied myself before.  I don't know, but it has to STOP!

After stuffing my face, I watched TV.  Make that, binged watched TV - four hours before hubby got home and with him until bedtime. I did take time to make dinner - and eat again (dumb). Dropped into bed feeling miserable, bloated and guilty for wasting an entire day and for giving into food.

Woke up this morning feeling hungover. I remember that feeling from my drinking days (long, long ago). Fuzzy brain, sluggish body and a ton of guilt on my back.

I spent time with Jesus again this morning. He showed up this time, but it wasn't the same. Not His fault this time. My fault because I felt like I had "cheated" on Him.  (Is any of this making sense to any one?) We had a good talk. I confessed, He forgave and all is good again.

Determined to have a better, more productive day today, but still feeling like I'm in a stall. Not like a horse stall. More like a stalled car. It won't go, I don't know why and I don't know how to fix it. Sigh.

Okay, enough venting for today. Not sure that any part of this will be helpful to anyone else, but just had to get it out.

Praying you have a productive day,
Jan
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Turn Your Distractions into a God Moment

Distracted when trying to focus on God?

We all do it. We all sit down to spend some time with God only to find within minutes our mind wanders off to something that happened yesterday, a hurt, something we need to do, something that we don't like about ourselve. Suddenly we realize we are no longer in prayer, in the Word or even thinking about God.

It's frustrating to think that we can't spend more than a moment with God without being distracted, so we shove those thoughts aside and try to pull ourselves back into the presence of God.

Here's a thought - what if those thoughts are not random distractions, but insight into things that we need to deal with? What if God is bringing them to mind because He wants to help us work through them? What if they are meant to reveal a sin or short-coming that God wants us to confess and seek forgiveness for?

The next time this happens, instead of pushing those thoughts aside, try this...imagine He is sitting in a chair across the table from you. Talk those things out with Him. Be sensitive to what He might be saying to you about your thoughts. Listen for Him to bring a scripture to mind or to give you some instructions.

God is interested in everything that concerns us. Let me repeat that...

God is INTERESTED in EVERYTHING that concerns us!

Talking those things out with Him will clear the air, help us grow and enable us to focus on connecting with Him on a deeper level.  Turn those distractions into a God moment!

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