Have you ever had a period of time when God felt so close you could almost reach out and touch Him? When reading His word came alive and spoke right to your needs? When blessing after blessing seemed to be dropping into your lap and then all of a sudden...nothing.
You can't feel him, reading the word is boring, your worship is flat and God seems a million miles away. It feels like you've been abandoned, deserted, lonely and deflated. As a believer, you understand and fully believe that those things are not true. God promised never to leave you. His Holy Spirit lives right inside you. His word is still true and just as powerful as it was yesterday. But today it seems He's no where to be found.
For the past 10 days I have been spending lots of extra time with God in the word, in worship and in prayer. It's been great and I've felt very close to the Lord, but this morning I woke up and He was gone. Not really, of course, but that's how it felt.
Suddenly, I felt like a failure. I kept trying to connect with Him, but He didn't answer my call. Was his ringer turned off? Was he hitting the "reject the call" button? Had I been blocked? I don't know if anyone else ever goes through days like this, but it's one of the hardest things ever for me.
This evening I was reading in 2 Corinthians, chapter 12. Paul starts out describing an amazing time he experienced with God, but immediately afterward he says...
"...in order to keep me from becoming conceited,
I was given a thorn in my flesh,
a messenger of Satan, to torment me."
(verse 7)
I don't like this verse. It's seriously messed up! Just when a believer is on a spiritual high, God allows a messenger of Satan to torment him. That don't seem right.
I've always heard that this thorn in Paul's flesh was a physical ailment of some kind. The bible doesn't specify exactly what it was, but this evening something occurred to me. It was a "messenger" of Satan. Messengers bring messages, don't they? And of course, a messenger of Satan would bring the kind of message that would torment a believer. Something like, "God has left you. God isn't speaking to you today. God is disappointed in you. Your prayers aren't getting through. You failed Him."
Those whispered lies and the feelings that accompany them are devastating to someone whose greatest desire is a close connection with God.
But, what if that messenger isn't such a bad thing? What if he's sent so that we might learn something. What if the torment was turned around, like switching the syllables in the word and...
the TORMENT - became a MENTOR
What if God is using it to strengthen our faith?
So, tomorrow morning when I get up, I'll pick up my Bible as usual. I'll pray. I'll worship and I'll expect God to show up. I'm sure He will, but if I can't sense His presence, I'll consider it a learning experience. I'll reject the lies of the messenger. I'll state truth, that God is right there with me, that He loves me beyond measure and I'll praise God for continuing to work me to make me stronger and more like Jesus, even if that means I go through a spiritual dry spell.
If you read the Psalms, you'll soon discover that David went through many days like this. Paul went through them, too. And Peter as well. It's a normal part of being a Christian. Our part is to stand strong in the truth and trust that before long, our feelings will follow.
If you would like more information about what to do when you're going through a dry spell or what they call "the dark night of the soul," I recommend this short (9 minutes, 30 seconds) message by Pastor John Piper called "What to Do When God Feels Distant."
Or this really short video from Francis Chan - "Do You Feel Distant from God?"
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