This week, I celebrated my 60th birthday. Woohoooo - and - are you kidding me?
It's hard to believe I'm 60 years old, but you know what's harder for me to believe? That up until a few weeks ago I didn't really "know" that God loves me.
That's a strange statement coming from someone who's been a Christian for over 35 years. It's not that I didn't believe God loved me...I did. And the reason I believed it is because the Bible says so, because He sent His only Son to die for my sins, because that's what the Pastor says.
I knew it, but I didn't know it.
I'm talking about that deep down, knowing in your spirit - where you are so sure of something that you can finally relax and enjoy it, because you know it and you know that it's never going to change?
Am I making any sense, here?
Because of my background, I've always been very introspective. Examining myself to see if I think I measure up to what I think I should be as a Christian. Striving - always striving to be better - not so I could earn salvation (I know that's a free gift of God), but so that I might be pleasing to God - so that He would be "proud" of me. I know that's a throw-back to trying to please my earthly Dad, but I couldn't shake it...until now.
What brought me to the realization that God really loves me after 35+ years of following Him closely, reading my Bible, attending church, working in the church, telling others about Him?
A little devotional book called, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.
Seriously, I've read many, many devotional books, but this one is different. This one is written as if Jesus is speaking to me personally - as if I am sitting with Him each morning while He gives me a special message from His heart.
It has brought me closer to God and has finally helped me to know, that I know, that I know, that He really loves me - just the way I am.
And it only took 60 years for me to figure that out. Sheesh - talk about a slow learner!
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(Copyright© 2012 Jan Christiansen. All rights reserved.)
photo courtesy Columbine, rgbstock.com |
That's a strange statement coming from someone who's been a Christian for over 35 years. It's not that I didn't believe God loved me...I did. And the reason I believed it is because the Bible says so, because He sent His only Son to die for my sins, because that's what the Pastor says.
I knew it, but I didn't know it.
I'm talking about that deep down, knowing in your spirit - where you are so sure of something that you can finally relax and enjoy it, because you know it and you know that it's never going to change?
Am I making any sense, here?
Because of my background, I've always been very introspective. Examining myself to see if I think I measure up to what I think I should be as a Christian. Striving - always striving to be better - not so I could earn salvation (I know that's a free gift of God), but so that I might be pleasing to God - so that He would be "proud" of me. I know that's a throw-back to trying to please my earthly Dad, but I couldn't shake it...until now.
What brought me to the realization that God really loves me after 35+ years of following Him closely, reading my Bible, attending church, working in the church, telling others about Him?
A little devotional book called, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.
Seriously, I've read many, many devotional books, but this one is different. This one is written as if Jesus is speaking to me personally - as if I am sitting with Him each morning while He gives me a special message from His heart.
It has brought me closer to God and has finally helped me to know, that I know, that I know, that He really loves me - just the way I am.
And it only took 60 years for me to figure that out. Sheesh - talk about a slow learner!
-------------------------------------------------------
If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with your friends using the Facebook, Twitter and other share buttons below. Thanks!
(Copyright© 2012 Jan Christiansen. All rights reserved.)